Legal Disclaimer

So, I’m sick of reading emails that contain legal disclaimers at the bottom of them. More accurately, I’m sick of the legal paranoia we all live in that makes companies/individuals feel that having these disclaimers is important.

In retaliation (futile, but I feel better) I’ve crafted one of my own devising. My favorite part is that it’s so huge. Most of the emails I get are simple one or 2 line things (“hey, check this link out”, “blah”, or “i hate everyone, people suck”, etc)

This disclaimer will simply drown out the text of the actual message, and significantly increase the size of the message (significantly, if you’re a mail router receiving hundreds of these a second [or more])

Anyway, here it is. Enjoy.

IMPORTANT WARNING:
The presence of this message on your mail system indicates an awareness and acceptance of the terms and conditions of this warning.

This message is intended solely for the use of the person or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged and confidential, the disclosure of which is fully governed by aplicable law. In the event that no law is applicable to govern the disclosure of this message, one will be created at the discretion of the legal rights holder of the contents of the message.

If the reader is not the intended recipient (or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient) you are hereby notified that you are not the intended recipient, and therefore not entitled to the use of this message.

In the event that you are the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, you are entitled to the use of this message solely for the purpose of delivering it to the intended recipient.

ANY dissemination, distribution or copying of this information is STRICTLY PROHIBITED, including the dissemination, distribution, or copying of this warning; even for the purposes of verifying the legal validity of the claims made herein. Included in “dissemination”, “distribution”, and “copying” are the acts of “forwarding” the message to other parties, as well as “replying” to it.

If you have received this message in error, please notify us immediately, by sending an email to thoughtpolice@miniluv.gov and destroy the related message.

Thank You for your cooperation.